My Style of Art

We all know art is subjective to the individual who views it. Many times to understand the art, you must understand the artists who created it.

There is always some sort of connection I seem to be able to pull out of my subjects, be it fantasy, strength, seduction or a plethora of other emotions. The model and myself work together to paint a picture, a photograph with feeling. Even photographing newborns, there is an element of my own spin added to the props I use.

(This little darling's middle name is Sparrow)

Clothes and props are conscience decisions made by me, but the other part of my style was made completely unconsciously.

We each have different plateaus and valleys in our lives that leave a mark on, or in us. These are the points in our lives that a unique event happens. This could be becoming a parent, getting or losing that dream job, or the death of a loved one for example. Our individual experiences make us who we are and can change how others view us, but most importantly, how we view ourselves. While we gain wisdom from observing others triumphs and struggles, it doesn't come close to what we feel when changes happen to ourselves.

I didn't notice right away the majority of my photography was dark. Dark in exposure, texture, and later on subject matter. Even with my newborns! One day I was flipping through my photographs to start my first professional portfolio and observed the similarity of feelings possibly transmitted to the viewer; fear, dread and the unknown. It really bothered me at first. My art was not bright and cheery like so many of my friends and colleagues art from photography school.

I did some introspection and realized the feelings I was projecting through my art were my inner feelings. Not the feelings I put out for the general public to see, but my own fear, dread and unknown. The subject matter, darkness, backgrounds and props...all me.

I already had two of my chronic illnesses and the depression that comes along with them. The struggle was real and showing up in my art. I started thinking about other artists and how their inner monologue may have created some memorable expressions of their art, part of what put them on the map. Jagged Little Pill, by Alanis Morrissette, is one of my favorite albums and her most successful compilation. You can feel the angst in her voice. Another example is Taylor Swift. Her personal experiences presented through music is part of the reason a lot of fans are drawn to her. The emotional lyrics are shared in her own personal way. Some of the best country songs are written by people going through a divorce or loss in their lives.

I have learned to embrace my struggles that will most likely never change, and my style probably won't either. I do have moments of light and cheer though! My family is the light of my life and I couldn't imagine life without them.

How does your background and inner monologue affect your art?

How I Moved from Hobbyist to Artist

Most artists start out doing what they love as a hobby. They do it for personal fulfillment to release their creative juices. Mainly displaying their pieces in their own homes or gifting them to family and friends, the need to create is just dying to get out. Gathering the least expensive tools to get the job done and just doing what comes to mind without any sort of discipline, the hobbyist finds themselves wanting to get the job done quicker and relish in their accomplishment. Many hobbyist like to recreate the art they like by using various aspects of their favorite artists, they mimic a piece they love or maybe enjoy doing fan art.

I've been a hobbyist for years and love every minute of it. I'm pretty sure if I cut myself, hot glue will flow from my veins. I still love to draw, color in coloring books, refurbish that ugly end table I find at the thrift store for $10. My biggest thrill was learning to turn a few hobbies into art. I wondered at the time if the thousands of dollars spent at photography school would be worth it in the end and I can say with absolute certainty, it was.

Photography school literally saved my life. I was going through a major depression at the time and thought there was no way out. I rarely left my house and found it hard to even get out of bed. My husband suggested I go take a look at the photography school which happened to be in the town I lived in. Neither of us could believe I actually got up, dressed and walked into a place with so many strangers. It was like a calling I could not explain.

Nine months of knowledge in a classroom and countless hours of remote photo shoots later, I graduated. I then continued my education with a crash course of Photoshop using the same techniques I learned in school. I stuck with the artistic side of photography that I learned, even though it was not the most profitable. I learned the hard way I was not a wedding photographer or event photographer. The stress of taking once in a lifetime photographs and failing, almost lead me down a path of no return. The plethora of information swimming in my mind started to take over the previous thoughts of failure, seclusion and negativity. I started only photographing subjects as models for my personal art, with the people I knew and trusted.

My love for entropy photography lead to many road trips around the state, photographing desolate streets and abandon buildings. My husband was the chauffeur, roadie and anything else I wanted him to be. He was happy to see the sparkle back in me. Although my art was dark and brooding, he understood my vision and we had so many laughs along the way. Before I knew it, my hobby had turned into a full blown vision of my own, with my own style and I was comfortable with calling myself an artist.

I have continued to use the same management plan with other mediums. I still have many hobbies, but my art feeds my soul while at the same time using the business practices I have learned over the years, ie time management, accounting, IT, sales etc. Although my health declined several years ago from chronic illness and pain, I find it much harder to keep the pace. I strive to offer my visionary pieces. My ultimate goal is to move from striving to thriving monetarily.

Goodbye 2020

2020 has been a year for the record books for sure, Covid-19 changed so many aspects of people's lives around the world, including mine. The initial scare came just after my 52 birthday, February 29th. My husband threw me a great birthday party with most of my loved ones attending. Little did we know that would be last time we would all be together for the rest of the year.

This morning as I was making my coffee, I noticed this cute little addition to a small tree I bought to enhance the other two small trees I used for Christmas trees. It is the only live plant in my house. I often joke about not having a green thumb, so I was quite surprised to see it. I immediately thought, "wow, this makes me happy!"

Happiness, a word I haven't experienced much in 2020. We had a change in family dynamics, new doctors, new diagnosis and terrible sales numbers. There were many more ups and downs, but we survived. We survived...that has a new meaning these days. I have been really careful throughout the year. I am pretty much home-bound anyways, so it wasn't that far of a stretch for me. I dug in. I made and gave away tons of masks, made some with some great horror fabric to sell, along with some other new items to sell at HorrorCon. I created a new collection of Horror dolls, aka Oddlings. We did a few new projects around the house as well.

I thought all of the distraction would help keep my mind off of the pain, but I was wrong. It worked off and on. I realized I was overdoing. My body needs to rest, not just at night, but from what others may consider normal activity. Stress is also a contributing factor, and I have had way too much this year. I am one of those people who wish they saw the glass half full and work on it all of the time, but the glass half empty shows it's ugly head way too often.

The little Christmas tree sprout gives me hope that 2021 will be a much better year. New Year's Eve John and I have decided to light the fire pit and burn our 2020 calendars. Freezing rain has been forecast here, so we may resort to the shredder, but either way, it will feel good to welcome 2021 with a clean slate.